


Time to say goodbye

by Iwassupposedtostudy



Category: Gentleman Jack (TV)
Genre: Anne rushes home, Attempt at humour, F/F, Mostly Fluff, Short One Shot, Tiny bit of Angst, Yeah. I've got too much time on my hands.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 16:08:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28548378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iwassupposedtostudy/pseuds/Iwassupposedtostudy
Summary: Missed me?  I mean I haven't posted in a hot minute... Wrote this whilst eating breakfast - I am so lonely guys. Anyway Hemingwayy no one cares about that... sorry.So.This is a short one shot, Anne's in York when she overhears something devestating and she rushes back home to Shibden, and is stumped...
Relationships: Anne Lister (1791-1840)/Ann Walker (1803-1854)
Kudos: 30





	Time to say goodbye

Anne was currently stuck inside the carriage, willing it to go faster but it wouldn’t – it was already at maximum speed. She was drumming the tip of the hat that lay in her lap, impatiently, she stared out of the window trying to calculate how long until she would be home. Flicking her pocket-watch open for the hundredth time during her journey – disappointed and vexed to see that there was still at least another hour until they would be home. Her heart was positively racing in her chest, hammering loudly, and she worried that Eugénie that sat across from her could hear it – wouldn’t that be mortifying Anne thought. Blood rushed in her ears, and she placed her hat beside her, running her hands over her skirt, taking fists of fabrics and clenching it tightly trying to remain calm – trying to stay in control of her emotions – swallowing her tears, keeping her sobs at bay – fearing she might truly humiliate herself in-front of her lady’s maid. They had left York a while ago, and Anne was surprised herself at how quickly they had packed up and left. She was supposed to have met a man the next day about renovations she wanted done at Shibden, but she’d cancelled on him, sent a note of her departure – making for home as soon as was humanly possible. By now Eugénie and Mr. Beech were used to their mistress’s sudden change of plans and they’d got excellent at hastening, much to the pleasure of Anne. And it really wasn’t anyone’s fault that the carriage couldn’t go any faster – the horses couldn’t gallop any quicker than they already did. But it irked Anne, who were desperate to get home to Shibden.  
  
The carriage hadn’t even stopped when Anne pushed the door open and threw herself out of the carriage, stumbling a little when she landed but she remained on her feet, running to the entrance, all but kicking the door open, rushing inside almost toppling over Joseph whom she scolded for being in her way. Anne had barely made into the house when Marian appeared as if summoned, hands on hips, eyebrows raised,  
“What are you doing back so soon?”  
“Why didn’t you tell me! Why didn’t you have words sent you blithering idiot!” Anne shouted, towering over her sister, looking quite fearsome, eyes sparking with anger,  
“Why didn’t anyone bloody tell me!”  
“What are you talking about, Anne?” Marian looked absolutely baffled, and Ann appeared in the doorway wondering why her wife was screaming bloody murder, and why she was early. Anne’s eyes turned to her, and she was just about to say something when her Aunt came in view behind Ann,  
“What's all this fuzz about?”  
Anne’s shoulders sank, and she just stared at them, but the anger was blown away,  
“I… There was… The meeting got postponed.” Anne lied, twisting on her feet, looking everywhere but at any of them.  
“There’s tea in the sitting room if you like?” Ann offered, trying to catch her wife’s eye but she refused to meet them. She was desperate to get out of sight, and away from everyone.  
“I’ll… I need to freshen up first.” Anne replied her courtly, which alarmed Ann – because Anne was so stiff and awkward, but she let it be and Anne rushed up the stairs – away from them, leaving them all a wee bit confused.  
  
When Anne hadn’t come down in over twenty minutes, Ann excused herself to go and check up on her wife. She suspected that Anne hadn’t been truthful before, there had been something in the way her eyes refused to rest on her that made Ann believe she was lying.  
Ann took the stairs quickly, taking them two and two, a nagging feeling in her stomach that something wasn’t quite right. She glanced briefly into her wife’s empty study as she passed it, only to make sure she hadn’t gone in there for a while. The wood squeaked quietly under her light feet and she stopped outside the bedroom door, knocking gently,  
“It’s just me, Anne.” Ann called softly before turning the knob and opening the door to the room, closing it behind her before taking in the sight of her wife on the bed.  
Anne sat on the side of the bed, raising her teary eyes to meet Ann’s widened ones, her usually proud shoulders were shaking, and loose strands of hair were plastered to her wet cheeks. She looked stricken, and uncharacteristically vulnerable on the bed and for a moment all Ann could do was stare at her, her forehead lined with worry for her.  
“Anne.” Ann’s voice broke as she spoke, completely devastated at seeing Anne this way, not knowing quite what to do. It was mostly the other way around. Ann moved however, all but ran to the bed, sitting down next to her – offering her arms, and Anne turned to her, clinging onto her for dear life as she wept against her chest. Ann placed her hands a little uncertain over her back, one hand gently caressing the back of her head. She kissed her over the dark hair, mumbling softly, lips pressed to the side of her forehead.   
“It’s okay. You’re alright. I’m here. Hush.”  
Ann rubbed her cheek with the back of her hand, kissing her temple,  
“Everything’s fine. Nothing happened. I’m here – just breathe!”  
Ann held her wife tighter in her arms, trying to ground her – wanting to comfort her badly through her pain. Her brows furrowed as she gazed down at her wife, whose face was hidden in her neck – she so hated for her to be in torment, she would do anything to make her happy.  
She ran her fingers over her hair, kissing her forehead, lingering for a little while longer than necessary,  
“Anne…” Ann mumbled, her eyebrows furrowed, trying to raise her head from under her chin to look at her – to talk but Anne’s hands clung onto her tighter, almost hurting her skin – sobbing and Ann’s heart twinged – it was breaking her heart to see Anne so upset – not knowing what for and how to make her feel better.  
“You’ll be alright.” Ann whispered into her dark hair, kissing her just there, hugging her to her, providing what comfort was hers to give.  
  
They sat like that for ages, Ann kissed her and held her – mumbling words of comfort and affection every now and again until Anne stilled against her chest as her sobs subsided.  
Ann ran her fingers gently across her back,  
“Do you want to talk about it?”  
“No.” Anne mumbled into her neck, her voice raspy and quiet and Ann frowned, but let it be for now, Anne would talk when she was ready to. Anne sighed against her skin, placing a kiss there before moving away from her hide-out. Ann observed her wet cheeks, swollen red eyes and immediately reached her hands out, placing them on the sides of her face, running her thumbs over her cheeks to dry the tears away. They said nothing neither of them, but Anne let her wipe her tears away, closing her eyes as she did so. When Ann stilled her thumbs Anne’s eyes opened, and the pain in them physically hurt Ann to see and she leant forwards and pressed a tender kiss to her lips, pulling away, still caressing her face with her hands – kissing her over her eyelids, wanting to kiss her pain away. Anne’s hand came up to touch Ann’s cheek, and she sighed as she leant into the palm of her hand,  
“I’m frightened.”  
“Of what?” Ann wondered quietly, and Anne exhaled slowly, bracing herself,  
“Today when they… when they said…”  
“It’s okay, take all the time you need, Anne.” Ann took her hand in hers, squeezing it and Anne’s eyes lifted from her lap again to meet Ann’s worried ones,  
“They… um mm, the reason I came running home earlier, I mean the reason I came back in such a hurry from York was… I heard someone say, talk about Shibden and…”  
Anne’s sentence died as the lump in her throat made in difficult to speak and she really didn’t want to break down crying again. Ann brought her other arm around her, pecking her cheek sweetly,  
“And?”  
“They said that there was someone elderly who’d died and I couldn’t quite make it out but then I heard… I heard, oh Lord. They said, ‘Anne’ and I thought…” Anne trailed of her voice brittle as she was on the verge of tears again and Ann held her to herself,  
“You thought they meant your aunt?”  
“Yes.” Anne exhaled, tears leaking down her cheeks again, and Ann kissed them away,  
“But she is downstairs, and she is well – as well as she can be.”  
“I know and I feel ridiculous. But… it made me realise that… that soon, too soon… I will need to…” Anne pursed her lips together to stop a sob escaping looking wretched and Ann stroke her cheek,  
“Say goodbye?”  
“Mm.” Anne hummed, grimacing as she tried to keep the sobs at bay.  
“Oh, Anne.”  
“Do you think I’m weak and ridiculous?” Anne asked strained, and Ann shook her head decisively,  
“Absolutely not. Loving someone isn’t ridiculous or weak. Sorrow isn’t either. I just don’t know what to say to make it better. Because I can’t stop it. If I could, I would.”  
“Just be here. Just hold me.” Anne begged, and Ann smiled sadly, nodding, wiping away the fresh tears on her wife’s cheeks,  
“Always. I will always be right next to you for better and for worse.”  
“Good.” Anne breathed, kissing her chaste, and Ann could taste the salt of her tears,  
“For what it’s worth – I love you endlessly, and I will do whatever I can when the day comes to make it easier on you.”  
“For what it’s worth? Ann, you’ve got to stop having such a poor opinion of yourself.” Anne almost snickered through her tears, and Ann smiled at that,  
“I don’t, but…”  
Anne shushed her, laying her head down on her shoulder – exhausted by her tears,  
“I love you, Adney. And for what it’s worth… you are the one thing that will keep me going when...mm.”  
“And for what it’s worth… I will keep watching over you both and see that you stay out of mortal peril.” An amused voice was heard from the door and both women turned their eyes there to see Aunt Anne resting against her cane looking at them both.  
“How long have you been here?” Anne wondered and her aunt smiled,  
“Long enough. But not to worry – I’ll take your secret with me to the grave which judging by those tears, Annie – might as well be in the next few seconds.”  
Anne just gawked at her aunt before they all burst into laughter not knowing what else to do.  
“Don’t say that!” Anne chortled and her Aunt ran her hand over her head, sitting down on the other side of her on the bed.  
“I actually look forward to it sometimes – sitting on the front rows, watching you get in and out of scrapes with John, Sam, John and Jeremy.”  
“Who?” Ann whispered to Anne who only chuckled,  
“My brothers.”  
“John and John?”  
“My mother was a drunk.” Anne waved her hand dismissively and Ann quirked her brow and shook her head.  
“That’s a nice image Aunt, but I refuse to let you go – I need you.”  
“You can’t refuse me anything and besides, I can finally go in peace knowing that Ann will keep you in check.”  
“I can take care of myself, Aunt.” Anne argued and Aunt Anne nodded, patting her knee,  
“Of course you can dear.”  
Anne smiled at that, taking her aunt’s hand in hers, looking at their hands whilst Aunt Anne shared a look with Ann – shaking her head, ‘no she can’t.’ she mimed, and Ann bit her lip to keep from laughter. Anne looked up at that and between them, arching her brow,  
“Are you two conspiring behind my back?”  
“No. We wouldn’t ever do that, dear!” Aunt Anne said sardonically, and Anne rolled her eyes, laughing as she pressed a kiss to her Aunt’s hand.  
“Now, will you care to join me for tea?” Aunt Anne wondered, and Anne yawned, winking quickly at Ann,  
“We might retire – I’m tired.”  
“Oh no, you will come, after all I’m dying.” Aunt Anne told her, patting her cheek before standing up using her cane and the bedpost, Anne stared at the back of her aunt and Ann nudged her,  
“She’s never going to let you live this down.”  
“I think she’s trying to make saying goodbye easier.” Anne smiled, and Ann nodded,  
“Yes, dear, but now it’s time for tea, and I wouldn’t mind some help down the stairs - preferably before I pass.” Aunt Anne called from the landing and both women looked at each other laughing before getting up to go help her Aunt downstairs, the mood much improved and they enjoyed a nice tea and chat until the early hours of the morning.  
  
**The end.**


End file.
